Sneaky Benefits of a One Minute Mindfulness Practice

 
 
 

You're Only One Minute Away  

... From your child beginning an absolutely magical practice. 

I get it.  Kids don't want to sit around "stilling themselves" and breathing.  They want to go, go, go 'til the goin' don't go no mo'.  So I have a proposition for you: Just One Minute a Day. 


Here are 3 Sneaky Benefits of a One-Minute Mindfulness Practice:
 

1.  It can create a habit.

As stated, your child may scoff at sitting down for five minutes just to "breathe."  But perhaps they will, even grudgingly, grant you one.  One is all you need, momma!  Because one-minute a day will help your child develop the habit of taking time out to be mindful.  Once that habit's formed, they'll be pausing, connecting and breathing, unprompted by you.      

2.  It can create stamina.

A friend of mine went from couch pillow (she has way more elegance than a potato) to half-marathon-running gazelle by adding just one mile every week to her training.  Your child can go from information-overloaded (not their fault), to focused practitioner, by adding one minute a week to their session.  Even adding one minute a month will have them sitting in stillness for 12 full minutes in a year.  Imagine the clarity and focus that could bring to their life. 

3.  They don't have to "get it" or "perfect it" to benefit.

Benny*, age 8, started with this 6 minute mindfulness video, which includes a reflection on a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson, mindful breathing, and a happiness visualization. 

He didn't sit with his back straight (far from it, he kind of laid angled and haphazard over a pillow).  He didn't pick one specific person to visualize (there were too many people that made him happy to just think of one).  He just followed along to the best of his ability. 

Afterwards, when I asked him what he thought of it, he said:

"I liked it.  It made me feel calm."  

Children don't have to be perfect at mindfulness to reap the benefits.  They don't have to grasp the point.  They know when they feel centered, relaxed, and focused -- even if, at first, they are happily clueless as to what caused it.  

So let's press this easy button!

In other words... play.  Today's video is a One-Minute Breathing Exercise for kids where your child will focus on feeling the feeling of love (with a super quick explanation to get them started off right).  And it comes with these fun mindfulness coloring sheets!

Toss it on, follow along, and then have a date-sweetened cookie (whatever that metaphorical cookie is for you), because you deserve it!

 
 

P.S. If you are interested in more mindfulness videos, be sure to grab your FREE Mindfulness for Children Starter Kit gift! There, I share mindfulness and meditation videos, color sheets, and more!

Updated from May 3rd, 2021

 
 

Nice, Kind, or Authentic... What's Best for Kids?

 
 
 
 
 


Be kind.

Ahhh.  Easy-peasy, right?  But being kind can become complicated when we trip over being nice and being authentic (not to mention that age-old pest––people-pleasing.)

But what even is kindness? And, how often do we mistake it with “being nice?”  And, what’s wrong with being nice?

Most of us grew up in an era where we were socially conditioned to “be nice”.  How often were we told as children to “play nicely” or to “be nice to” even if said “to” wasn’t treating us very nicely at all?  

We were instilled from an early age to believe that being nice equated to being kind.  

Is there even a difference? 

Uhhhhh, yes.

And in this blog, we’re breaking down!

Kindness, Mindfulness, and Authenticity

Kindness, Mindfulness, and Authenticity--what's the difference?

To get a bit “Merriam-Webster Dictionary” about it––to be kind is to be of a “sympathetic or helpful nature”, and to be nice is to be “pleasing or agreeable” (1).  

The distinguishing factor here?  It seems to be authenticity.  

 

See, we have been taught to “please” others or to be “agreeable” above our authentic feelings and desires.  But as children deal with the cognitive dissonance of acting against their desires, this focus on being “pleasing” and “agreeable” can lead to people-pleasing (a trait so many of us struggle to break as adults) and even to passive-aggressive behavior.

Which means that, in an attempt to be nice, children can end up inadvertently acting unkind.  

Anyone who has been on the receiving end of passive-aggressive behavior knows how truly ugly that can be.  And when you take a closer look at “people-pleasing,” it can be argued that it is, in fact, an unkind trait, as it robs the other person of knowing the truth from the false.  

Still, we do want our kids to be kind, and there is a time to be agreeable and pleasing. 

For instance, if your child is at a birthday party and the birthday kid wants to rock out to Broadway show tunes, but your child prefers Top 40, it would be appropriate to be agreeable and supportive and to go along with the desires of the birthday kid.  So, in accordance with our above definition, it would be appropriate to be nice.

Clearly, it’s complicated.  

But I think the win comes when we return to authenticity.

Let’s return to that birthday example.  We’ll call the birthday kid Jackson, and the party attendee Sally.  Jackson’s having a Broadway themed birthday.  He loves show tunes and wants to dance to them all day.  The kids are playing Broadway themed games, and there’s even a Karaoke machine filled-to-the-brim with Broadway originals.

Sally does not like show tunes at all, and to top it off, she doesn’t really like to dance in front of strangers.  She’s only really comfortable dancing to Top 40 music, and that’s because, when she’s dancing with her parents at home, that’s what they play.  

But, the truth is, it may not be appropriate to ask for new music, even if that is what Sally prefers.  It feels like it’s a better choice for her to do the “nice” thing here.  

But it would be inauthentic for Sally to pretend that she loves show tunes just to make Jackson happy.  So what does Sally do?  

Sally could approach the situation with an open, kind, curious, and supportive heart.

Yes, she is not into showtunes.  But, by supporting her friend and leaning into the experience from a place of open-minded curiosity, maybe she’ll learn more about why Jackson likes them.  She may even stumble upon one or two ditties that tickle her own fancy (Effie’s creator, Arynetta wants to throw Stephanie Mills singing Home from The Wiz in the hat, which she fell in love with around age 8.  Here you go, treat yo’ self.)  

If asked directly, “Do you like show tunes?” it’s okay for Sally to say, “Usually, no, but I’ll try it out for your birthday!” With a reply like this Sally is approaching the situation with kindness and curiosity. But she is not being inauthentic to herself.  

Here are four more ways your child can lean into being kind over being nice.

4 Ways to Lean Into Being Kind Over Being Nice

🌟 One.  Front-Load Kindness 

Make kindness a practice by getting into the habit of performing Acts of Kindness.

Making kindness a normal part of their routine is not only beneficial to the recipient, it’s beneficial to the child.  Here are a few ways kindness improves your child’s brain:

  1. Kindness stimulates serotonin production––a natural chemical that acts as a mood stabilizer by transmitting messages between nerve cells, promoting overall calmness and positive moods. 

  2. Kindness stimulates oxytocin––otherwise known as the ‘love hormone’ or ‘cardioprotective hormone’ that is responsible for protecting the heart’s health––mainly by lowering blood pressure. 

  3. Kindness releases endorphins––“the brain’s natural painkiller”––which are essential hormones for relieving pain and reducing stress. 

🌟 Two. Practice Self-Love (Self-Compassion) 

Sometimes children may result to people-pleasing out of a fear of being rejected.

Dr Sophie Bates, a clinical psychologist who specializes in child and adolescent mental health, discusses an inherent link between kindness and self-care: “Children who behave unkindly towards others likely feel badly about themselves”.  She further challenges that the many outdated, shame-based beliefs we instill in children from an early age to put others’ needs first are detrimental to their mental health.  

Says Dr. Bates:

“The pressure to be liked and accepted, achieve, and strive for perfection is linked with embarrassment, shame, not feeling good enough and pervasive self-criticism––thoughts and feelings commonly occurring in mental health difficulties such as anxiety and depression.”

To counteract that, it’s time we teach our children to fully accept and love themselves first.  From there they can begin to understand that being themselves, and accepting others preferences and choices, allows everyone to show up in this world exactly how they are meant to.

In his book, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, Deepak Chopra writes of what he told his kids from the time they were four:

"I don't want you to focus on doing well in school, I don't want you to focus on getting the best grades or going to the best colleges.  What I really want you to focus on is how you can serve humanity, and asking yourself what your unique talents are.  Because you have a unique talent that no one else has, and you have a special way of expressing that talent, and no one else has it."

What Deepak is referring to is his children's Dharma––a Sanskrit word that means "purpose in life."  

We all have a purpose in life.  That means that we are here for a reason, and that reason is important.  But, too often children grow up thinking they are not special.  That they are not a big deal.  So, they turn to the crowd to tell them what to do, what to like, where to go––often ignoring their own innate gifts, skills and interests.

Here’s the rub, other children are often doing the same thing.  So it can end up being the uninformed leading the uninformed.

With this, they fall prey to that pressure that Dr. Bates mentions.  Without that self-compassion, that self-love, they give into those feelings of, “embarrassment, shame, not feeling good enough, and pervasive self-criticism” that can lead to being overly-reliant on what others think about them.

It’s time that we foster and reinforce our children's unique thoughts, skills, gifts, and interests.  That our children know, without a shadow of a doubt, that they matter, that they are important, and that they are here for a reason.  And that we encourage them to get excited about that.

We’re going to talk more about Dharma in later blog posts, but one way that children can begin to practice connecting with themselves is through the practice of mindfulness.  

🌟 Three – Practice Mindfulness

Your child can learn to pause and consider what they need to do to take care of themselves before speaking, or taking action, through the practice of mindfulness. 

We did a deep dive on the benefits of a mindfulness practice for your child in this article.  Here’s a quick highlight:

“Mindfulness interventions in schools have shown practicing mindfulness may improve sleep and self-­esteem, self-­awareness and empathy, and can even contribute directly to the development of cognitive and performance skills, and executive function. 

Summing that all up, that means mindfulness can help your child think more clearly, sleep more deeply, be better organized, believe more in themselves, be more aware of themselves, empathize with their peers, and even their parents.  That means you!”

Research also suggests that practicing mindfulness exercises, such as meditations centered around self-love, “enhance brain activities related to emotional regulation, stress management and immune functions” (3).

But we know that getting your child set up with a mindfulness practice can feel a bit overwhelming.  That’s why we took care of the heavy lifting for you.

In our free animated video course, Mindfulness for Children Starter Kit, we teach parents and children why mindfulness works, and equip you with exercises and a plan to start your practice today.  Sign up for free right here!    

🌟 Four.  Learn to Say, and Accept, “No” Compassionately

Sometimes being kind means saying “NO”.

Not just saying “yes” because it pleases the other person or makes them ‘appear’ kind.   “No” is a complete sentence AND it can also be said in a gentle and compassionate manner.  By giving our children permission to be honest, we help them avoid future resentment and acting out in unhealthy, unkind ways.  

And just as important (and kind) as it is for a child to be able to use their authentic voice and say “No”, so is it true for the recipient’s response.  Indeed, this brings to mind that oh so valuable lesson of acceptance.  

It really is okay for someone to say “No” to us.  It doesn’t make us bad or unworthy.  It just is what someone else prefers at the time.  

So, how do we come to acceptance?  By learning to not take things so personally.   If another kid doesn’t want to play with or be partners with your child during class, or if your child isn’t chosen to be on the school’s volleyball team, they should understand that it is just a matter of preference rather than a personal slight. 

Even if that child is unkind about it.

The hard truth is, sometimes others aren’t kind, even when we are kind to them.  This also shouldn’t be taken personally.  More times than not, that also has to do more with that person than your child.  Remember what Dr Sophie Bates said: “Children who behave unkindly towards others likely feel badly about themselves.”

In that case, we can have compassion for that child, even if they behave in a way that we think of as behaving unkindly.

Learning to respond back with kindness, especially when things don’t go one’s way, like you don’t get what you want, or someone is unkind to you, isn’t always easy. But it can definitely be practiced.  

This is where that sacred PAUSE comes into play.  And, remember Step 3, we can teach our kids how to pause before reacting in an unkind manner or making rash decisions based solely on emotions by developing a mindfulness practice. 

If we are treating others with thoughtfulness, respect, and kindness, we can walk away from the situation feeling good about ourselves.  

Final Thoughts

Being a kind person is something that your child can take pride in.  But, being kind may become complicated when we confuse it with being nice and then further conflate being nice with being authentic.  But your child can learn to follow their authentic thoughts, preferences, and desires while being kind AND nice by:

💗 Front-loading kindness by practicing daily Acts of Kindness

💗 Practicing self-love

💗 Developing a mindfulness practice

💗 And, learning how to accept “No” compassionately

And your child can start practicing self-love and kindness today by practicing sending loving and kind thoughts to others and to themselves.  Get started now by watching this video!

Let's do it!

🧘🏽‍♀️The Loving Kindness Meditation 🧘🏽‍♀️

 
 
 

Quiet Time | 3 Minute Mindful Breathing Exercise

 

Oprah called it “quiet time.” And she attributes her success to it.

Good thing is, it’s available to your kid, too. 

Quiet Time. A byproduct of growing up in rural Mississippi in the mid-to-late 50s with a working single grandmother.  It wasn’t scheduled or mandated mindfulness.  There was a lot of time to herself.  Quiet time just was what it was. 

In 2011 Oprah met Sheryl Sandberg at Facebook.  The topic: meditation.  

She spoke of that time, and how it has impacted her life:

OPRAH

“…having grown up in rural Mississippi, alone with my grandmother, I had a lot of quiet time. I had a lot of time to touch the stillness inside me. And the truth is, that’s where God lives. God lives in the space of stillness. Whatever you chose to call God, or not call God. It doesn’t matter whether you chose to call it or not, that stillness is always there, that awareness space.

…where you live, where the capital You resides, is not in the thoughts, but in the awareness, in that space. So I have lived in that space, of awareness for myself, for a very long time. I can’t even remember…

You know, all of us has that space where you’re willing to get still, because the world will try to tell you everything about yourself, and…we have so many voices, in our heads and on our Facebook pages telling us everything. But, to know, really, what to do and how to be guided in your life, you have to go to that still space where the bigger You, the greater You, resides. And I have it, and so does everybody else who’s listening to us right now.”

That “capital You” — it can be accessed in stillness.

But today “alone time” doesn’t guarantee “quiet time.”

We have the Internet, Instagram, streaming television, Slack, Zoom, Twitter and TikTok TikTalkin’ all day and all night long.  Not to mention games, schoolwork, extracurriculars––it all makes sure that nobody has to have quiet time.  As a matter of fact, it actively works against it.  Sometimes quiet time feels like it’s under assault.

But it’s there, waiting.  You may have to manufacture it.  You definitely have to prioritize it.

Today’s learning video continues on with our children’s mindfulness series (and if you missed the first and second video and activity, they’re here waiting for you).  This three-minute breathing activity is designed to help your child to connect to the breath, and connect with that space. Click the image below to watch now.    

 
 
 
 

Because “quiet time” is where that personal greatness lies.  That place of genuine authenticity.  Where your child’s unique gifts, true potential, and the blueprint of how they are divinely designed to impact the world lives.

We all have the potential of personal greatness that Oprah, Stacey Abrams, Jane Fonda, and Jamie Kern Lima have tapped into.  But are you giving yourself the gift of the time and space to access it.  Are you giving your children that gift?

Oh, by the way, Oprah had another fun quote:

“I had no idea that being your authentic self could make me as rich as I’ve become. If I had, I’d have done it a lot earlier.” 

So there are multiple benefits to quiet time.  Wouldn’t you agree?

Thank you for watching!

I’ll see you in the next video.  Until then, sending happy thoughts!

Pssssssst. Did you like this video? Then let’s get together more often. Join PlayDates where I send weekly learning activities directly to your inbox on subjects like mindfulness, vocabulary, and more!

 

A Minute... or 2 | 2 Minute Mindfulness Breathing Exercise For Kids

 
 
 

Your child needs a minute… or two.

But don’t take it from me. Straight from a psychiatrist and ADHD specialist’s (and physician’s, and author’s, and spiritual teacher’s, and monk and peace activist’s) mouth, today you’ll learn:

Why Mindfulness is the bee to the land of milk and honey that is your child’s mind.  Sa-weeeet.

They’re buzz words right now, huh?  Mindfulness.  Awareness.  Being thoughtful and intentional.  The importance of presence.  Meditation. 

…all that.

And we know what happens when things start buzzing around our face, it’s all too easy to just swat that bugger away.  You know, “stop bothering me, I’ll get to that later,” syndrome.

But does your child have that luxury?  Right now more information is bombarding them than ever before in history.  In 2011, Americans took in five times as much information every day as they did in 1986—the equivalent of 174 newspapers. The estimate is that during our leisure time — we’re not even talking about work — you and I processed 34 gigabytes, or 100,000 words, every day. 

And that was a decade ago.  Instagram didn’t even begin until October 2010, and TikTok just started in September 2016.  So imagine how those gigabytes have grown in strength over the past ten years as agenda-loaded emotionally charged info-litter pummeling our focus day in and day out.

In other words, that land of milk and honey is being dumped with mounds of trash and artificial sweetener.   

Here’s what psychiatrist and ADHD specialist Edward Hallowell has to say about it, “never in human history, [have] our brains had to work so much information as today. We have now a generation of people who spend many hours in front of a computer monitor or a cell phone and who are so busy in processing the information received from all directions, so they lose the ability to think and feel. Most of this information is superficial. People are sacrificing the depth and feeling and cut off from other people.”

Looks like it’s time to get the environmentalist involved, because your child’s most important environment –– the world of their mind –– may be being treated like a landfill.

Thankfully, if you act now, there is something you can do about it.  

For that, I’ll turn it over to Dr. Daniel Siegal, author of Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation and The Mindful Brain: Reflection and Attainment in the Cultivation of Well-Being:

“Modern times often cause us to go on automatic pilot, continually multitasking and buying our lives with digital stimulation, information overload, and schedules that stress our brains and overwhelm our lives.  Finding time to pause amidst that chaos has become an urgent need few of us take the time to satisfy.”

Your child needs a minute to pause and breathe.  Urgently.  A minute or two.

See, meditation, mindfulness, the contemplative arts –– they not only help to focus amongst the chaos, they also help us to be more selective when choosing what’s being allowed in.

It starts with a mindful minute.  

Good thing I have just the minute (or two) for you!

Today’s learning video continues on with our children’s mindfulness series (and if you missed the first video and activity, it’s waiting for you right here).  This two-minute breathing activity is designed to help your child take a step away from information overload, and into a moment of presence.  

When it comes to your, and your child’s, mind, we want the sweet nectar of divine inspiration and uniquely appointed gifts flowing wild and free. So when that mindfulness bee gets to buzzing, take heed. Because mindfulness is the tool that keeps your land of milk and honey clean, clear, tasty and free. 

But, incase you need more convincing, here are four more experts buzzing your way.

“…if I know one thing for sure, it’s that you can do small things inside your mind that will lead to big changes in your brain and in your experience of living.”
Rick Hanson, PhD. Neuropsychologist and Author

“All forms of meditation strengthen & direct our attention through the cultivation of three key skills: concentration, mindfulness & compassion or lovingkindness.”
Sharon Salzberg, Meditation Teacher and Author

“I think the greatest gift we can give our children is the experience of deep quiet. If we don’t help our children cultivate contemplation, reflection, prayer, meditation, or whatever other practice of mindfulness, then they’re likely to be completely spun out of their center by the time they’re in grade school.”
Marianne Williamson, Author and Spiritual Teacher

“Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.”
Thich Nhat Hanh, Buddhist Monk and Peace Activist

Let’s make Thich That Hanh proud and conscious breathe together.  

That’s today’s bee’s knees.

I’ll see you in the next video.  Until then, sending happy thoughts.

P.S. Let’s stay in touch! Weekly I share learning activities including videos and color sheet printables! You even start out with a free gift. I’d love to have you.


 

Feel the Happy | Mindfulness Exercises for Kids | Breathing and Visualization

 

How would you like it if your child had the self-esteem of a lioness, self-awareness of Michelle Obama and empathy of the Dalai Lama?  

That sounds like a pretty powerful combination.  

But I’ll do you one even better.  How would you like it if your child was able to develop their own self-esteem, self-awareness and empathy to the point that they, just like Michelle Obama, just like the Dalai Lama, and just like that royal lioness, were living their best life, using their divine gifts and skills, and impacting the world in just the way that they were meant to?

Now, what would you say if I said that studies are showing that children who practice mindfulness are tending to develop the traits that would allow them to do exactly that?

It’s true!  Mindfulness interventions in schools have shown practicing mindfulness may improve sleep and self-­esteem, self-­awareness and empathy, and can even contribute directly to the development of cognitive and performance skills, and executive function. 

Summing that all up, that means mindfulness can help your child think more clearly, sleep more deeply, be better organized, believe more in themselves, be more aware of themselves, empathize with their peers, and even their parents.  That means you! 

Mindfulness can help your child think more clearly, sleep more deeply, be better organized, believe more in themselves, be more aware of themselves, empathize with their peers, and even their parents.  That means you!

Okay, sure, the latter is a long shot, I know.  

Or is it?

I’m keeping the faith alive for you, but even three out of the above eight can lead to a better life for all involved, and a better world.  

Whitney knew it!  She told us when she sang: “I believe the children are our future.” 

And, with a world full of mindful children, the future’s so bright, we gotta wear shades.  

So in preparation for that RayBan reality, one might ask:

What is “mindfulness,” and how can my child practice it?

What is “mindfulness,” and how can my child practice it?

According to the Cambridge Dictionary: [Mindfulness is] the practice of being aware of your body, mind, and feelings in the present moment, thought to create a feeling of calm.

And there are many more benefits of “calm” that I’ll get to in a bit.

There are so many different ways to practice this awareness, including, but not limited to: breathing exercises, meditation, going on nature walks, mindful eating and playing (yes, there is such thing as mindful play), and mindful thought of those you love.

Today, in this mindfulness exercise for kids, I’m practicing mindful awareness through mindful thought, breathing, and meditation, while listening to classical piano music.  And the choice of classical music is a researched one.   

And this is where we start to tap into the benefits of that “calm.”  

The calming effect induced by classical music releases dopamine to spike pleasure and prevent the release of stress hormones. From here, mood is improved, which clarifies thinking. This is what can improve intellectual and cognitive performance.

So I’d like to invite your child to watch this video, and join me in improving our intellectual and cognitive performance, deepening our sleep, believing more in ourselves, increasing our empathy, and strengthening our self-esteem, all while brightening our collective futures. 

Together, we’ll practice deep breathing and mindful thought, including visualization practice — all in 6(ish) minutes. 

Together, we’ll practice deep breathing and mindful thought, including visualization practice — all in 6(ish) minutes.

It’s going to be so much fun!

I am so excited to share this with you.  And hey, if you like this mindfulness activity for kids, be sure to share it with your friends and loved ones.  You can even watch the video and practice mindfulness together!

Thank you for watching.  

Until next time…

Happy Learning!

P.S. Quick reminder that this is a practice, and the benefits come from repetition!  I practice mindfulness daily.  Even just 3 minutes a day can add up.  

P.P.S If you are interested in more mindfulness videos, be sure to join Effie Playdates https://effiemonroe.com/playdates!  There, I share weekly learning activities including vocabulary building, mindfulness and meditation videos, color sheets, and more!